"As an academic, you are known through your writings"

This was one of the many pearls of wisdom offered by Dr Inger Mewburn when she came to Bangor University a few years back to tell us how to write a paper in seven days. Yep, really. A paper in seven days. I haven't got to that stage yet, I'm not even through ethical approval. But her half-day of wisdom has given me the tools I will need when that first paper needs writing. And it has already helped me through the ins and outs of writing a taught Masters dissertation.

It dawned on me, belatedly, that I am using this blog as my first step into being known through my writings. It's a scary thought. In fact it's so scary that I'm tempted to run and hide in the relative anonymity of a postgraduate study room. Why is it so scary? Why don't I want people to know me through my writings?

Maybe it's because I rely so much on watching other people's body language to fine-tune how I communicate with them, and I don't have that luxury when I write. Maybe it's because I still fight insecurity and am scared rigid of being judged. Maybe it's because I have constructed this ridiculous image of The Perfect Academic peering over his or her glasses at me, and I feel like an imposter.

Or, maybe, it's because I don't like fixing anything in stone. I don't like trapping fleeting ideas in cold hard print. I know all too well that tomorrow I will think differently from today, and will express myself differently. But you won't see that. You will only see today's thinking trapped in the blog.

Maybe that's where the blog comes in. Blogging is a way to trap ideas as they pass through, fully or partly formed. There is no pressure to have a conclusion or make a statement. I don't feel the need to impress a peer reviewer and I don't need to comply with what's needed to get published.

So take me as you find me. Or ignore me. Or pull apart what I say. Or be in dialogue with me. Or criticise me. And, perhaps, this way, I will develop the thicker skin and greater self-assurance that I'm going to need for the day I finally tackle that paper in seven days.